bonecutter

Last year we started a tradition–an all girls trip.  Really just a long weekend-no kids, no husbands, no rules.  It was fantastic.  Six women leaving 12 kids at home with the hubbies for  a weekend of sun, fun and relaxation.  We had the best time ever!  Well that trip is coming up again and I just booked the reservations. Yipee!!  My friends are totally not judgemental and just fun loving, but they are are skinny as hell!  I dont know where I find these 30-40 year old mamas with terrific bodies for friends but I realized I need to find someone to make me look better.  I am happy to say I am out of the obese category, but I am, by far, the most overweight one going.  Really I know no one cares.  But I dont want to be the fat one.  VERY motivating.  Cant wait only 8 weeks away!

well I weighed today, I feel much thinner, but only lost the two I gained during the week before.  I just dont get it.  I am killing myself with the workout and always pushing myself to the next level.  My eating is healthier than ever.  I need a big loss this week. PLEEAASE!

My recent quest for improved health (not just weight loss) has spilled over to my entire family.  My kids 8 and 6 are all about eating healthy.  Their life is exercise so they dont have to worry about that.  My son packed his own snack today, fresh blueberries and rice cakes.  Tonight at dinner they asked me about everything and ate grilled chicken, asparagus, and brown rice with spinach and red peppers in it and loved every bite.  For dessert they had fat free vanilla yogurt.  I think this is making me more happy than the weight I lose.  If they make changes now, they wont be in the shape I am in as an adult!  I also love not having to make two dinners!

Today was a day of taking care of myself:  early morning haircut and highlight, followed by a visit to my Ob/Gyn–I am the worst patient, haven’t gone in FOUR years.  Glad to get that one over.  Killer workout tonight (my last chance workout). Missed my dentist appointment, but I will make that one up.  Doctors are the worst patients.

Feeling good, and more lean. Put on a pair of size 6 pants and wore them in public.  My husband thought that I had bought new pants (no they are just really old) and said I looked sexy in them.  Of course he thinks I am always sexy even when prego or 50 pounds overweight.  I’ve got a pretty good one=) most of the time LOL!

wednesday- my weigh day is just around the corner and I fear that I haven’t lost weight for the second week in a row!  I will be devastated.  I am doing everything I should and my workouts are getting more and more instense.  I dont want to lose motivation because of lack of results!  I am trying to just focus on today but wednesday seems to get here so fast lately.  My all girls trip is just around the corner as well as a trip to Disney.  I want to wear my bathing suit and not be self-conscious.  Yeah, right.  I hope everyone has a great week and stay strong!  (my mantra-Stay strong)

Just working on our office competition for tomorrow.  I bring everyone a weekly summary and multiple recipes.  So I just finished rounding up all of that.  I also give out a gift for the biggest loser for the week and try to keep it “fitness” related.  Its fun for me–I just have to keep myself motivated.

My parents just got back from antartica they noticed that I had lost weight, which was nice.  I just dont feel like I am going anywhere with my weight loss. Patience, patience, patience.

We spent time at our lake house today, just cleaning and checking on things.  It was bitter cold, but it made me think of summer and being in that stinkin’ bathing suit.  I love to waterski and wakeboard (new sports for me) but I hate how my thighs are all jiggly when I am doing that and everyone is watching.  Of course, I am the only fat chick waterskiing, the only one stupid enough to look like one of those disney hippos from fantasia on a waterski.  I’ve got time, better get to it!

I found a cute dress at walmart today for only $18!  It is totally adorable and I thought I would wear it for easter. KNOWING that I am going to loss weight (however slow that might be) and being in a hurry I grabbed a size 8. I thought “this is a bit optomistic, but I still have a month”.  I got home and tried it on–too big!  I couldnt believe it!  I think it runs big, but it still felt good.

Last night we had dinner with some friends we haven’t seen for about a month (when I started this) and it was a great response.  Everyone noticed that I had lost weight.  Very motivational.  Everyone who knows me, knows that my life is one social event after the other.  Very tough on the diet.  Tonight we went to a fund raising dinner for the highschool singing group.  I stayed on my diet, but let me tell you about the dessert.  It was this super rich, moist appearing chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and caramel and pecans.  I almost died I wanted a bite sooo bad.  Temptations are EVERYWHERE. It would be easier to lock myself up in this house for a few months.  Oh well.  Hope to have a great weigh in this week!

Can you feel my pain?   Not only am I craving chocolate because “flo” is visiting but now I literally have 500 boxes of girl scout cookies in my truck.  Great!  Life is not very considerate of my diet plans!!

The good news is that I did get my period which is great for two reasons.  One I am not pregnant–that would totally blow the diet plans.  And two because that probably explains the two pound weight gain.  I am not going to weigh myself until next week and I am hoping for a BIG number.  My work out is getting more and more intense.  I got some leg machine thing at wal-mart and it is awesome for the booty and inner thigh.  I am now doing 9 sprint intervals, 100 crunces and 35 girl push-ups.  I am into it!.  I asked my huband to get me a speed bag.  I think that would be fun and I could get out all my pent up fury from dealing with idiots.

Today I found part of my body I like.  Its my belly button.  It has a good shape and would be perfect for piercing if it weren’t sitting on top of my huge, cellulite belly.  (be patient with me folks this self love thing doesn’t happen overnight!)

I weighed today and gained 2lbs.  I feel terrible about this.  dont get me wrong-I am not giving up but I dont know what I did wrong.  I have been faithful to diet and have even kicked up my exercise.  I dont know what to do!  I am so frustrated right now.  Everyday I hear from others how I motivate them and I am proud of that–but what about me–I need help.  I feel like I am never going to suceed at this rate.  I know its just how I see it but I see people putting in half as much effort as I am and dropping pounds like crazy!  I am not giving up, but losing a week of work hurts =(

I was just thinking today, “man I have been on a lot of different diets in my 39 years of life”  I remember my mom sending me salad to school when everyone else got sandwiches and chips.  I don’t ever remember a time when I wasn’t either dieting or should have been dieting.  Well this time I am just trying to adopt a healthy lifestyle but it got me to thinking of the “list”

1.  Jenny Craig

2. Nutrisystem

3. Weight Watchers

4. Slimfast

5. AIDS diet (this was way before the virus-hence the name. it was a little piece of chocolate that was supposed to curb your appetite i think)

6. Rotation Diet

7. Atkins

8. Body for life

9. Starvation

10. Cabage diet

11. Fatsmash

12. puking, laxatives, exercise bulemia etc–never really could do this one for more than a day LOL

13.  grapefruit diet

14.  dexatrim

15.  I am sure there is more but I can’t remember them all!!

I would love to hear more–I bet that I have done them!

Today one of my patients offered some unsolicited advice.  He said it doesn’t matter how much you weigh, you should just accept it and love who you are.  He said he tells his 350lb wife that all the time.  I literally plugged my ears (jokingly).  I agree with that to some degree.  I do have real issues with loving myself and I am working on that, but that is not an excuse to be unhealthy and that was my argument to him.  I am really focused on living a healthy lifestyle that includes exercise and eating right, not just on losing weight.  There are plenty of unhealthy skinning people and I know that although I am packing about 35 extra pounds, I am in good cardiovascular shape and take no medications.  I see the affects of obesity everyday and it can be devastating to a body.  I want people to love themselves inside and out, but not use it as an excuse for acceptance of what is not good for you.  I am trying hard to stay motivated in my weight loss/fitness journey–so at this point I don’t want anyone to tell me to just accept how I am–been there, done that