bonecutter

I have been on this web site for just over 3 months now and it is so interesting to see how so many very different people go through such similar experiences.  For example the first blogs are about “starting over” or ” a new day” or “gonna do it this time”.  Then we move on to our excitement as those first pounds fall away and exercise begins, the “yeah me” phase.  Then as excitment settles down, sometimes dissapointment in oneself for cheating or not doing exercise.  Then here comes the dreaded plateau (this is my phase).  My point is there are common themes throughout and if you read enough blogs, you will find someone who is struggleing just the way you are or celebrating just as you are.  Its fantastic and I believe the reason blogging helps sustain weight loss.  Its amazing that the support and advice of a complete stranger can mean so much.  On that note, I hope everyone has a great week and achieves their goals!

P.S. after a 6 week lull I finally lost 1 whole pound!

So I just got home from patching up this poor little old lady who fell and broke her wrist.  Her skin was so thin, it tore terribly.  I hadn’t worked out today because I spent the entire day trying to clean, organize and make sense of my 6 and 8 year olds rooms.  It was torture.  I am laying down the law tomorrow.  I am not the maid!!  Anyway, since I took yesterday off, I felt I had to work out.  So here it is midnight and I just finished.  It really felt good though.  Its quiet in my house.  I was feeling grumpy and pissed that I have to be on call before I left and now its all good.  Exercise for me is like therapy.  It changes my mental state and brings me to a good place.  Anyway, I have to start thinking about going to bed since I will have an earlier start tomorrow.  Prayin’ for one pound!

yes its true–I am not going to exercise tonight for the first time in about 4 weeks.  It feels weird.  I need a rest.  I also increased my calories to 1300 today.  May be a recipe for disaster.  I dont know what else to do–trying to mix it up.  I have little hope at this point that anything will work.  Maybe I should get my thyroid checked.

Well I started this morning like I always do, weigh myself before I get in the shower, totally expecting to see the same weight that I have seen for the last 6 weeks.  But no, it says 130. OMG.  There is clearly something wrong.  Let me step on the scale again–130.  I repeat this process at least 6 times, take a shower and do it again.  Now I know that is not my weight.  I couldn’t lose 24 pounds in a day, and I know I would be damn skinny if I weighed that.  But I think– is this the breakthrough I have been waiting for?  I know I dont weigh that little but maybe the scale has finally moved.  I anxiously await my husband to get up and weigh himself.  197–what he always weighs. Then the kids.  It weighs them right too. We check the battery its all good.  I weigh again–after at least 10 times of weighing 130 I get on and I am back up where I usually am.  My heart sank and I wanted to cry. In fact, I am feeling that a lot lately, like I would like to cry.  My frustration is mounting to a point of desperation.  I am trying so hard to be strong, stay positive and keep motivated, but it is really getting to me.  I feel trapped in this body right now and want out!!  I am sure others have experienced this but right now I feel like I am the only one.  I am literally praying to God and pleading with my body to give me just a little hope.  Why is everything so hard for me?  I have given many people advise on exercise and diet and it works for them–why not me?  Anyone who knows me that I work hard at what ever I do.  I am very competitive–mostly with myself.  This diet has been no different.  I dont know where to go or what to do.

I cant believe it, but multiple sources now have told me I need to eat more calories.  My mind is having a hard time accepting this.  I understand the theory but I am terrified of actually instituting it.  Many of you who have read my blogs know I have been whinning for about 6 weeks now about how I can not seem to lose weight despite a rigorous workout and healthy eating plan.  I now have had 3 trainers and many other tell me I need to eat MORE!??  I have increased my calories from 900-1100 to about1300 but they are telling me to eat about 2300!!  I feel certain I will gain weight eating that much but I am going to give it a try.  I am way behind today.  I just entered my food (I still have dinner to go) and I only have 483 calories in.  This is CRAZY!!  Well I had better go, I have lots of eating to do!!LOL

April fools!!  Anyone who knows me, also knows that I haven’t lost 7 lbs in the last month.  My goal when I started this venture was to “redefine” my body.  I have been faithful with blood, sweat and tears and I am just not seeing results.  What is really frustrating is that I dont know what I am doing wrong and no one can really tell me.  I wish we had a little internal computer that gave us a print out like..”too many calories” or “watch the sodium” or “you need more protein”.  That would be awesome!!  I am jealous of people who add a little walking to their exercise and drop the lbs!

Met with a trainer today and it felt pretty good.  I am really going to try to incorporate more weight training but don’t want to give up my cardio which I am doing 7 days a week.  I also took over the role as team physician for the local college.  High school is one thing but those college football players are huge!!  I am a little intimidated but I am sure I will get over that.  I am only 5′3″ so i look like a midget next to them.  I am excited about it and look forward to football season.  Every Friday night a high school game, every saturday-college.  For any of you living in the south you know how HUGE football is here. I cant wait!!

For any biggest loser fans, just watched jay take one for the team.  God I am so sick of seeing those dudes crying.  I really do understand how emotional the whole thing is but its getting old with them.  I am glad one is gone.  Ali is amazing to me.  When she came back she weighed more than me and in a few short weeks–blew right past me.  She looks great.  I need a home Jillian!!

Good luck everyone–summer is coming